[Andy Cain]

Bored in work so thought Id come in and say hello and what not.

If ya bored get ya goggles round this...

I hadnt been to confession for months and months so I decided it was time to sort my self out and start with a clean slate.

So last Sunday I went to my local church to confess my sins and be born again. As I sheepishly approached the booth I felt quite worried and apprehensive. After a couple of minutes the priest settled me in.

So what have you to confess my son...

Well father I have slept with many many women behind my girlfriends back, I have contracted several infections including ghonorreah, clamidea and warts. I have sodomised women over and over again and I steal from people. I have been guilty of all these things and more father

At that, a voice came from behind the curtain...

Is that you Andy

[Carl Briggs]

Nice one mate! Welcome to the site by the way - keep 'em coming

[Andy Cain]

Hahaha OK 1 more then its back to work...

Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening totally drunk, as he often did, and crept

into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing

white robe.

"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?".

The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter".


Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't

said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back straight away".

St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back

as a dog or a hen." Brian was devasted, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house,

he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and

clucking around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling

welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first

day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Brian, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to

explode".

"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before".

"Never" replies Brian. "Well just relax and let it happen"

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.

An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he

experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness

was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever

happened to him... ever!



The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack

on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting "Brian, wake up you drunken *******

you're ****ting the bed!

[Phil-M]

Class! Nice one!!